When I was a boy

I was a skinny kid. Through ele­men­tary school and mid­dle school, I was the tallest in class, and the scrawni­est. I wasn’t very ath­letic, and dealt with some gross motor coor­di­na­tion issues that kept me from being any­thing ter­ri­bly grace­ful. When I was 11, my dad brought home our first com­puter, and Apple II in 1983. When I was 13, EA released Bard’s Tale I: Tales of the Unknown. I was 11 when I dis­cov­ered com­put­ers. I was 13 when I fell in love with tech­nol­ogy.

And, since I wasn’t nat­u­rally good at mov­ing around, and had some inter­nal spark of tal­ent at the key­board, that’s where I stayed. I was, by in large, seden­tary through high­school, unless by act of grade hijack. Luck­ily, my metab­o­lism was on my side, and I man­aged to stay the skinny kid through col­lege. When I got mar­ried, at 26, I was still at my fight­ing weight of 190.

All this is com­ing back to me tonight because of Alex Fuka. Alex mar­ried Lily, a good friend and client, less than six months ago. Alex is the love of Lily’s life; they have been bless­edly per­fect for one another.

A few hours ago, Alex suf­fered a mas­sive heart attack and died while out walk­ing in the cool after­noon air.

And tonight, my friend Lily is alone. She’s sur­rounded by fam­ily, her daugh­ter, her friends, her chap­lain, but she is alone. When she started today, she was of a pair. This evening, she is deserted.

As much as I could try to post some­thing pithy, some link to a fab­u­lous new tool, all that seems to mat­ter today is this cold reminder that I — that all of us — need to take bet­ter care. As tech­nol­o­gists, we need to move more, eat less, and stay strong.

I don’t know the details yet about Alex’s con­di­tion that lead to his heart attack, but I know mine. I’m no longer at my fight­ing weight. And I’m still not very grace­ful in danc­ing shoes. But every day that passes the stakes on my health go up just a lit­tle bit.

So tonight, I offer this bit of grist for the mill, since it’s where my heart and head will be: hug your loved ones, and may your rest tonight be sound. And as your days fill with busi­ness, step back and muse care­fully on the things that mat­ter more.